The Leya Experience #17 | vivid doors

my dreams, my nightmares

Ever since I was a child, I’ve been having very vivid dreams. Always seeing pathways and doors that scare the hell out of me. There were many evenings and nights my mom was up comforting me after having a nightmare. Most of the time I was too upset to calm down, so she stayed up with me until I seemed okay. Till this day, I feel guilty of taking away her time to sleep all those years.

I still have dreams like that and I often dream about houses I spent my time in. Like the house of my grandparents and the house of my aunt and uncle where I had sleepovers when my parents had other appointments. I could have nightmares there as well, even my grandmother and aunt were always so sweet to comfort me as much as they could.

Never could I describe the nightmares, but lately I realize the houses in the dreams do resemble the houses I know, but not exactly. So perhaps, as a young girl, my dreams took me back to a place I’ve stayed in Indonesia. Lately I try to remember the images of my dreams, hoping it may lead to a new place to research. 

It could be an office, or a hospital, or an apartment building. A place I’ve stayed, someone took me to. It can’t be the house of the midwife where I stayed as this was more like a townhouse from what I’ve seen in the pictures.

In my dreams I always see a lot of doors, like the restrooms at gas stations, or swimming pools and sports accommodations. It can’t be a gas station, can it? Why would a baby be in a place like that? A child that was taken away? Abducted? Hidden? 

I don’t know. It may be painful, but I'm willing to try to figure this out.

Leya