The Leya Papers #11 | those who were watching me
follow with caution
You know I live in Utrecht, it’s where my home is. A beautiful home and I believe I will live here forever. The place is big enough for everything I need and the Lady who sublets the house will always keep an eye on it. We have contact weekly and sometimes we even go out for drinks, lunch or dinners. She’s a classy Lady and somehow she keeps me in balance. Making sure I will not fall into the extreme life of partying and drugs I am surrounded with.
She did notice I changed recently and she asked me over lunch about my experiences and the people I meet. I didn’t tell her everything, but I did tell her they were the most extreme elitist people I’ve met so far. It made her quiet for a while and later she just said I’d better stop seeing them. She just warned me as a friend, but I felt she knew more than I’ve told her. She also mentioned I knew she was right. She noticed the doubt in my voice and my body. I did agree.
Luckily it isn’t a group I see occasionally, but one day after I left university after classes it felt like someone was watching me. Sometimes it’s a feeling or intuition. It felt like that the whole day and the next day. In the weekend I was invited to the group again, Mr. Number 1 asked my attention again and everyone let him.
It’s amazing how people bow to power without thinking. Is this the way we are educated? To just do what’s asked without asking? I started studying philosophy to make sure my questions will always evolve, as they did this weekend. I didn’t want to stop asking, I just noticed when it was time to hide my questions.
Somehow my dancing has taken me into a new dimension. A world that could be useful someday. It’s a weird game I am getting into, I’m not going to stop. I will be careful, but somehow it feels like this is the place that can take me where it all started.
Love,
Leya