The Leya Experience

Vera Calmer
Jul 18, 2024
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Even today Leya is still writing her essays online. Watch how she has grown since 1999 and how she’s still exploring chaos, love and life in her own universe on her new platform The Leya Experience.

If you want to know how she started, read Leya 99 and The Leya Papers to go back to 1999 and 2000.

Leya’s 1999 blog

Leya 99

Leya 99

Vera Calmer
·
November 12, 2023
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Leya’s 2000 blog

The Leya Papers

The Leya Papers

Vera Calmer
·
Jul 18
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Recent blogs

The Leya Experience #16 | the mess of the 70s

Vera Calmer
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Nov 14
The Leya Experience #16 | the mess of the 70s

There’s a huge amount of information you can find on the internet. It’s unbelievable and it’s not necessary to visit any archives in person yet. Luckily Sophie agrees with me to schedule my field work on my own time and she understands I need to have some background information first. I must admit I feel embarrassed. I've never researched my birth count…

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The Leya Experience #15 | Unbelievable water

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Nov 6
The Leya Experience #15 | Unbelievable water

Unbelievable. Looks like we will experience another Trump term again. It’s not a result I consider a relief, it’s not a result I consider a threat, however, I do think nothing can be considered as certain anymore. But isn’t that always the case?

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The Leya Experience #14 | the failure I see

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Nov 4
The Leya Experience #14 | the failure I see

Somehow I feel like a failure. Like someone who doesn’t own the life she has. Everything I was, didn’t mean anything. It was stupid thinking my wigs would have some meaning. It was terrible and selfish, I don’t want to be this person anymore.

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The Leya Experience #13 | an escape of silenced existence

Vera Calmer
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Oct 5
The Leya Experience #13 | an escape of silenced existence

Sometimes the doubt of my existence gets to me. The hollow questions that are never fulfilled. The continuous emptiness that remains a mystery without an explanation. People say I think too much, that I should stop questioning everything and just be. Just live and exist. Those are the people who don’t understand the meaning of dancing. …

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The Leya Experience #12 | a mothers’ secret

Vera Calmer
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Sep 30
The Leya Experience #12 | a mothers’ secret

Like we don’t know where our story continues, we don’t know where our story began. It’s unimaginable for many, it’s reality for some. For me it has become a habit of neglecting and ignoring what I don’t know and what I miss. But after my mothers secret whispers, I finally feel the urgency to research my past.

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The Leya Experience #11 | the push through

Vera Calmer
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Sep 16
The Leya Experience #11 | the push through

In my previous post I mentioned the darkest time ever. To be honest, I’m quite scared in the dark. Not that I’m afraid at night in the streets, as long as I see lights around me. Complete darkness makes me feel like being locked up. When it comes to life, I’m someone who pushes through the hard times by taking on so much that it seems li…

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The Leya Experience #10 | unappreciated wanderer

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Aug 31
The Leya Experience #10 | unappreciated wanderer

While reading my blogs, I can’t deny the use of words like paradox, restlessness and choices. Those phenomena are so much intertwined in my existence that they have become a regular part of my decision making, while I doubt this is healthy. Experiencing emotions like that, they don’t add up to the feeling of freedom many of us try to pursue. At least I do.

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The Leya Experience #9 | untamed restlessness

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Aug 28
The Leya Experience #9 | untamed restlessness

There are moments I feel guilty for not searching for my real parents. There are moments I feel guilty about researching my background. This is what you can call the painful paradox of life and love. Yes, it may have been a wonderful chance for me growing up in the Netherlands, especially with the wealthy parents who raised me and could…

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The Leya Experience #8 | beloved closeness

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Aug 24
The Leya Experience #8 | beloved closeness

The last few years social media made it possible to connect with your peers of similar interests and experiences. In my case I’ve noticed international adoptee groups on Facebook who connected with each other. I am kind of a silent witness in those groups, witnessing their posts about their thoughts when it came to adoption.

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The Leya Experience #7 | doubt being me

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Aug 15
The Leya Experience #7 | doubt being me

What is there to say about the present days? There’s so much going on and yet so much we cannot say. We have to be careful about what we publish online. Careful because opinions can be damaging.

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The Leya Experience #6 | what is wrong

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Aug 9
The Leya Experience #6 | what is wrong

People may say it’s my adoptive background that makes me do multiple activities at the time. I’m a writer, a researcher, a dancer and an influencer, I play keyboard, guitar and produce some music. Next to that I often attend classes and courses in Law and Politics. As a sport I dance and practice yoga. I know it’s insane, but I don’t do…

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The Leya Experience #5 | not necessary

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Aug 3
The Leya Experience #5 | not necessary

It’s funny to read my former articles, the ones I’ve written when I just started. There are moments I wish I could go back in time. Being less of a party girl and focusing more on my study and university, but back then I needed the nights in the clubs. Not necessary to party or get drunk, it was more the people I met I was interested in.

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The Leya Experience #4 | a lonely masquerade

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Aug 1
The Leya Experience #4 | a lonely masquerade

There’s this thing about loneliness. It’s invisible. Unmeasurable. Therefore unbelievable, for those who refuse to hear and see the truth of the lonely soul in front of them. People think I have the perfect life. I dance, I walk around in party clothes all the time and look like I have fun all the time. They don’t see me in my room at night. Surrounded by my books, study books, English literature, classic philosophical novels. They are all here with me when the rest of them aren't. Regarding my ongoing philosophy blog, they say I’m lucky this is how my life is now. They even think I am lucky I am not sleeping often. That I can use those hours writing and studying.

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The Leya Experience #3 | digital hostages

Vera Calmer
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Aug 1
The Leya Experience #3 | digital hostages

Today I was working on my research about the digital era and it’s unbelievable how much there is to learn and how much we will never know. The thought of never knowing frustrates me deeply, probably because there is so much for me that I don’t know which for some is just something to get over with. But I can’t and I never will. I can’t …

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The Leya Experience #2 | madness rabbit hole

Vera Calmer
·
November 22, 2023
The Leya Experience #2 | madness rabbit hole

An exciting day has arrived. We got to vote in the Netherlands, again. Since the year 2000 I have been allowed to vote in the Netherlands and it has been hectic ever since. Perhaps the voting was always a crazy event, but 2002 was extreme because of the attack on the politician Pim Fortuyn. Everyone who was 18 years old or older, were allowed to vote an…

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The Leya experience #1 | lab rat

Vera Calmer
·
September 15, 2023
The Leya experience #1 | lab rat

So many years have passed by, experiencing memories, wars, attacks and secret after secret. These days the 90s are coming back. People thinking those were the days of our freedom, while in fact we were hostages already. Being trapped in the lies of society, the illusions they’ve built to distract us from the truth. Years ago my friend Stan built me this…

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